


Tell Me About Her

by ubertrash



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Endgame Fix-It, Established Relationship, Everything's the same except Steve stays in the present, Fix-It, Spoilers, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:31:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18598873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ubertrash/pseuds/ubertrash
Summary: "When Steve reappears in a flash on the platform, in different clothes but looking no worse for wear, Bucky is absolutely shocked. He'd been sure - so sure - that Steve had never planned to come back in the first place. "





	Tell Me About Her

"Where is he?"

Sam sounds panicked, and he almost never gets panicked. Bucky, on the other hand, is completely calm. All he has to do is wait.

"I don't know. He should be here." Banner says, starting to sound equally frantic.

"Well get him the hell back!"

When Steve reappears in a flash on the platform, in different clothes but looking no worse for wear, Bucky is absolutely shocked. He'd been sure - so sure - that Steve had never planned to come back in the first place. 

"Steve, what the hell happened? You okay?" Sam is saying. Bucky can't do anything but stare, open-mouthed.

Steve's stepping down from the platform, laying down the briefcase. 

"Yeah. Had to take a little detour." he says, nonchalant, and pops the case to show that all the stones are gone, back where they came from. "But it's done. It's over." he says, tone cheerful but final. He slams the case shut just to prove his point, and walks back over to them.

Bucky's still almost too stunned to speak, but he manages to stutter out, "But I thought -"

Steve's hand is on his shoulder, squeezing. "We'll talk about it later." he whispers, so the others won't hear, then calls over his shoulder, "C'mon."

There's a wake to get back to. Bucky lets himself be led by Steve's hand on his back, feeling just a little like he's in a dream.

\-----

The clean-up operation will be massive. For now, most of them are staying in a run-down hotel, close to the demolished base, letting those far more capable than them start the logistical fight back to normality. Superheroes are more efficient for tearing down infrastructure than building it. He and Steve are sharing a room, and maybe they can pretend it's to save space, but after all that's happened neither of them really cares who knows about them anymore.

"It was nice, today. What he would've wanted." Steve says, folding up his jacket.

"Yeah." Bucky agrees solemnly, from the doorway. "You gonna miss him?"

"Of course. Yeah, he - I will. I will." he says curtly, clearly holding back. It's too fresh. They lapse into silence, Steve pottering nervously about, Bucky biting his tongue, and it's him that breaks first.

"Steve, what happened?" 

Steve goes still, straightening his back. He breathes out slowly before turning to sit on the bed, patting the mattress beside him, a heavy demeanour settling over him. "Come sit."

Bucky does. They face each other, but Steve doesn't speak for a long time, just looks at him, studying, judging. 

"I went to see her." he says quietly. "Peggy."

"I know." Bucky says, clunky, "That's why I thought - maybe you wouldn't - you would - stay there. With her." He'd accepted it, in the moment, when he realised what Steve might be about to do; if that's what Steve truly wanted, Bucky wasn't going to stop him, wasn't going to take that shot at happiness away, but it's hard to say it out loud now, hard to acknowledge what it would mean. What if Steve really had left him here? What would he have done then?

"I - I don't..." Steve, too, seems unprepared for the reality of their words. Up until now, it had all been a pipe dream, but today he'd been able to make a choice, and now he must explain why he chose this path and not the other. Part of him is still trying to figure it out for himself. "It's not as if I didn't consider -"

There's a knock at the door. They jump apart on instinct. 

"Hey." Sam says, poking his head in. Suspicion crosses his features instantly and he opens the door wider. "You two okay? Feels like some shit went down earlier."

Bucky's already drawn into himself, turned his body away from Steve's, and Sam's gotten used to all his sad looks. As it turns out, being brought back from the dead together has made them thick as thieves.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Sam offers, crossing his arms, and Steve slumps with a sigh. 

"I was just telling him, that when I went back, I..."

"Took a detour?" Sam prompts.

"I saw Peggy, and we -" he looks to Bucky, "- we had our dance, the one I promised her back in '45. That's it." 

"Steve, you know that could've been dangerous." Sam says sternly.

"Yeah, I do know, but I wanted -"

"Should we be telling someone about it?"

"No!" Steve insists, trying to level his voice, "I was there for less than an hour, and she promised not to tell anyone. She won't go looking for me in the ice. It's fine, it's done, like I said."

"Can we really trust that she won't -"

"Sam." Bucky snaps.

Everyone shuts up for a second. 

"Why?" Sam ventures, after a moment.

"I - it was - it was closure, for both of us." Steve gets out, "She already had her life, she worked hard for it, and now it's time for me to have mine. I just wanted to finish what I started while I had the chance. To say goodbye. Sorry if that's selfish." he clarifies, growing defensive towards the end.

"It's not selfish." Bucky murmurs to the ground. Steve's gaze jerks towards him, his expression torn somewhere between love and pity.

"No, Cap, it's not selfish." Sam assures, "You just worried us, is all. No harm, no foul, I guess, as long as the timeline stays...however it's meant to stay." 

Steve looks to Bucky, lingering, then to Sam, and he nods to himself. 

"Alright. Thanks, Sam. Sorry for causing trouble, and thanks for checking in."

"Don't act like you won't keep causing it." Sam teases. "Well, if that's all, I'll leave you two alone. Been a long day. You know where to find me." He catches Bucky's eye and nods, his parting gaze to both of them filled with a lot of unsaid things, lots of questions, but they'll have time for that later.

"See you tomorrow." Bucky calls quietly, as Sam swings the door shut with a soft click, and the two of them sit in silence, listening as his footsteps retreat from the door. 

"Buck." Steve pleads, and reaches for his hand. He holds on tight, keeps him tethered there in reality, just trying to get his bearings back in this revived world, still scared to death that he might turn to dust any second. "I'm trying to explain. Let me explain, okay?"

"Okay."

The air rushes out of him, and he takes a moment to gather his thoughts. "You're right, she was special. Maybe it's stupid, but she's the only one, apart from you, who saw me, who believed in me, before all of - this." he says, gesturing vaguely at himself. Before the serum, before Captain America. "She'll always be special to me, and if things had gone different, maybe we could've had a life together. But this is how it is, and I wouldn't want to change it, because she was happy without me. I just wanted to keep that promise I made, I just - needed to know, so now I can let go. Hopefully, she did too."

"But why didn't you stay, when you could've had that life after all?" he asks. It's how he'd felt back then, in the 40's, too, asking why on Earth Steve was sticking close to him when Carter was right there, offering the good life on a silver platter. There was no future for him and Steve, at least not the one he wanted. 

"Because I made another promise. I think you know what it is."

Bucky sighs, heavy, resigned, feeling like there's something lodged in his throat. Steve is just - impossible, impossibly good to him, even after all they've been through. "Til the end of the line, huh?"

"Yeah." Steve says softly. His thumb draws circles on Bucky's skin. "And I meant it. I still mean it. You thought I'd just leave you here? We've got a chance now, Buck. Things are different than they were back then. Sure, there's things I had to leave in the past, but that means I got this instead. I got you."

He reaches out to touch his face, fingers sliding over his cheek and into his hair, tucking a strand behind his ear. Bucky's so - everything. He's everything. He's so lucky to have loved two people like this in his life, people who loved and accepted him for who he really was, who never forgot him even against all the odds, who welcomed him back with open arms even in the worst of circumstances. He's lucky, but that doesn't mean life's fair - some sacrifices still had to be made. 

"Buck, I - I know where you were, in the 70's." he broaches.

Bucky closes his eyes against the memories: flashes, screaming, blood. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell her about you. About HYDRA. You know if I could've -"

"It's okay, Steve."

"But I - if I could have done it without risking -"

"I know. I know, it's okay." 

It still hurts, the possibility of it, and Bucky can't help but imagine of it, of how different things could have been for him, even if it would have been 30 years too late. Would Peggy have even known how to save him? Did she know the magic words that set him free? Did she know about him and Steve at all? The tears come without him even realising, but he wipes them away. It's useless, thinking about what could have been. 

"We can't change it. Just like you said." he says, smiling against whatever pain is trying to rear it's ugly head. "I'm glad you got to have that with her, Steve, I am. It's okay, cos...cos I've got you here with me now, don't I?"

"You sure do." Steve says, his hand coming up to cup Bucky's neck. "And I'm never losing you again."

He pulls Bucky close, kisses him sweet, clings to him. They've barely been apart since the second snap, but he's still paranoid, still terrified - they've slept side by side every night, the first good sleep Steve had had in five years, and they wake up tangled together every time, some deep subconscious thing always pulling them together. If he'd stayed in the past, he would've felt Bucky's absence for the rest of his life.

"I missed you so bad." Steve mumbles, face pressed into Bucky's neck. "I barely knew what to do with myself."

"Save the world, apparently." Bucky says, "As always."

"Yeah, right." Steve laughs. "You helped, too."

"C'mon, I barely took down ten ugly aliens. You wielded that damn hammer." 

Steve smiles to himself, a bashful thing that's trying poorly to conceal his pride. "Oh, hey." he says suddenly, standing up. He heads over to the inconspicuous bag leaning against the wall, unzips it and pulls out the shield. It's whole again. Bucky would bet that Carter had a hand in that. He raises his eyebrows, questioning.

Steve smiles. "You think Sam will like it?"

Bucky can't help but smile back, wide and genuine. "I think Sam will love it." It's not just symbolic; it means Steve was telling the truth, that he's ready to move on. The mantle was always a burden for him, a scrappy little kid who just wanted to help people, and maybe now all of them can find better ways to do what's right. They'll do it together, too, and he feels, for the first time, excited about what's yet to come.

"It's just -" Steve says, coming over to him, "I wanted to ask you first, in case, you know, you wanted it?"

Bucky laughs, loud and from his chest. "Did you leave your brain in the 70's, pal? Thanks, but no thanks."

"I didn't think so."

He sets the shield down, gets down on his knees in front of Bucky like he's praying. Maybe he is, sending out thanks for the hundredth time that day that they managed to survive this. They're missing pieces, of course, missing Nat, missing Tony, but they will heal, eventually. He rests their foreheads together, braces his hands on Bucky's thighs, solid and warm and  _here_.

"I love you." he whispers, breathes it into his skin, "We're gonna be okay."

"Yeah." Bucky replies softly, "We're gonna be okay."

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I still don't think Steve's ending makes sense because of all the time travel fuckery, and minus the romantic Steve/Bucky dynamic I think it could have played out more like this. I'm so sad about Bucky I had to write something to make me feel better hashtag Not My Steve.


End file.
